Five Years

Five years ago today, Hayley smiled three times, took her last breath and heaven got a little brighter...

Five years...a weird sort of "milestone" to reach. It doesn't seem right to have lived without her that long. And yet, we're five years closer to seeing her again. That is a happy thought!

Too tired to write much, but many thanks to all of you who thought of us today (and for that matter, who think of us on any day!). It was a day full of smiles...

So proud of our little man who delivered a wagon full of presents to the hospital and handed them over without fuss. Perhaps slight hesitation, but no fuss! Can you tell he was a boy on a mission?







We were thrilled to see three smiling old friends while there...: )

And I'm not sure it's legal to have this much fun at a cemetary...(though I'm secretly thrilled it's so). You'll notice pink was conspiculously absent...I guess that's what we get for letting Jacob pick the colors...



And though I didn't have my video camera handy, Riley made our day when she started doing the "Funky Hayley" chair dance at dinner at our favorite Mexican place. She was starting to gather quite a little crowd!

We couldn't help but look around all day and be so grateful for these special kiddoes who bring us such joy. And I know we appreciate them all the more because of Hayley.

One of the opening pages of Hayley's final scrapbooks has the following words...

"You will always be our first...
our first baby,
our first time to be "mama" and "dada"
Our first understanding of unconditional love...
Thank you for the chance...
Thank you for the journey..."

Today, on this five year anniversary, know that you are loved and missed...always.

Santa Love

So, for the past two years, our "Santa" pictures have looked something like this (pardon the poor quality):



And while I am glad to have such "classic" shots, it lost a little bit of the thrill on year 2. You might say we approached this year's visit to Santa with slight trepidation. Especially becasue last year, Jacob "seemed" into it. He talked about Santa all the time, even gave Santa a high five when he walked by, but when it came time to sit on that lap, he wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with him.

So, needless to say, I was thrilled when he walked up without hesitation at the CURE party last week and hopped right on Santa's lap.



He may have been a bit stoic, but there were no tears, and he actually told Santa exactly what he wanted (which by the way, was a tennis raquet, play doh and a coffee maker). Just to clarify, he's referring to a toy coffee machine he saw in a catalogue. I know - it's perhaps the most bizarre three-year-old list I've ever heard). But I digress...

So, with one child down (Riley wasn't at aforementioned party), it was time for another trip to see the jolly guy in the big red suit. Riley's teetering on the age where stranger anxiety is kicking in so I wasn't totally sure what to expect. And after the initial inquisitive glances,

our little girl fell in love.




I don't know that you can tell, but she was BELLY laughing at Santa Claus. Full out cackling. It might have been the cutest thing I've ever seen. (If only I had brought the video camera). And in spite of the fact that Jacob was back in stoic mode for the group shot...(Riley and Santa were really both rolling by now),



I wasn't sure our Santa visit could have gone any smoother.


And then there was this:



Insert contented sigh.

Fall pictures, at least

Since I'm due to post Christmas pictures in about a week, I figured I better get some fall pictures up here!

But first we want to extend a horribly belated, but huge thank you to everyone who participated in CURE's September event. We were able to raise more than $3,000 in memory of Hayley (wow!), and she's actually pictured in this month's CURE Report (a welcome surprise to open the newsletter and see her smiling face!). If you didn't receive a personal email, please accept my apology - there were a few emails I didn't have (J&K - that means you!) Please know how much we appreciate your support. It's made all the more meaningful because it's been a really rough year for all our former cancer buddies, and it's more apparent than ever how desperately research is needed. At the moment, two more old friends are in the thick of difficult battles. Please keep Merrill (www.caringbridge.org/visit/merrillking) and Jack (www.caringbridge.org/visit/campjack) in your prayers. We spent lots of time in the hospital with these sweet families in 2004, and it hurts our hearts to know that they're back at it again.

As for us, its is hard to believe this December will mark five years since Hayley's home-going. It's an odd sort of milestone to reach. It seems impossible - and somehow wrong -that we could have lived without her that long. And though the pain is no longer as sharp as it once was, she is still missed every day. Reminders of her are everywhere at Christmas - happily so. Her stocking hangs with all the rest, and the angel ornaments are slowly but surely going to require their very own tree.

In spite of the inevitable ache this time of year brings, I have to admit that I feel truly joyous at Christmas for the first time in a very long time. Jacob is TOTALLY into every aspect of it. We have never laughed so hard as decorating the tree with him this year. He literally couldn't wait to do it. In fact, one morning (after putting the tree and lights up the night before), we found him with the entire bottom half of the tree covered in ornaments. Make that 2-3 branches on the right side of the tree covered in 30 ornaments! He has also assured me that there's no way he's crying on Santa's lap this year becuase he "gets it" now. We shall see!

Meanwhile, Riley is growing like a weed and is 8 months old now. She has the biggest, gummiest smile, and might just be the most ticklish baby ever. How she laughs and laughs (and loudest for Jacob, of course). She is also a force to be reckoned with. Tug-of-war with contraband items is her favorite activity! And she also seems to have an unusual fondness for eating paper. Argh!

More on all that later. For now, pictures!

First, a few stunners of Riley at 7 months from our talented friend Alisha (www.agrgallery.com).



(I love how you can see her two teeth in the big grin!)


(Neither Hayley nor Jacob ever sucked their fingers. Riley's actually a paci girl, but every now and then, she'll break out the two fingers. I was so excited to have it captured on film!)

And here are a few pics from our fun fall escapades... I promise a more detailed update soon!


Jacob, 3 1/2



Our littlest pumpkin - Riley at 7 mo.



Fun lovin'



Showing off his creation (Gingerbread house to follow!)



Check out her muscles! ; )



Sweet siblings



Superman!!



And sweet kitty!



Thanks for checking on us!

PS - Thanks to those of you that let me know about the Sphors!

CURE Remembers Hayley

It's not unusual around our house these days for Jacob to cue up "Hayley's video" on the DVD player. He usually declares, "Riley wants to watch it" and eagerly runs over to press play. His favorite part is Hayley's newborn cry in the beginning of the video, and he excitedly narrates through the rest of the all-too-short six minutes.

It's followed by questions like, "Why did Hayley get cancer?" and "What makes cancer better?" and "What did Hayley like?" and sweet declarations like "I love Hayley in heaven."

It is sweet, it is heartbreaking, it is challenging...It makes us smile, and it also makes us mad.

Why? In large part, because curing childhood cancer still isn't a priority in this country. The statistics tell the story.

• Every day, two full classrooms of kids are diagnosed with cancer. That's 46 children each day
• Little progress in cure rates has been made over the last decade and 1 out of 5 of those children diagnosed will die
• As a result, cancer continues to be the number one disease killer of children in our country, more than asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and pediatric AIDS combined
• Yet, only 2 percent of federal funding for cancer research is directed at solving cancers that impact our children. It's simply not enough.

Some of you may know that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month so what better time to rally the troops! We're thrilled to be taking part in an initiative this month called “CURE’s Kids Conquer Cancer One Day at a Time.” AND September 17th is Hayley's day!

To make a donation in memory of Hayley anytime this month, simply visit http://www.firstgiving.com/curekidhayleythomson. If you happen to be visiting this site on the 17th, look for her smiling face on the home page of curechildhoodcancer.org as well.

***As some of you may know, Alan is fortunate to serve on the board of directors of this wonderful organization. CURE and some of the special families it serves were recently featured on the 11Alive news in a three-part series. You can see the final of these three pieces HERE (or see below). Through this video, you can see how the research CURE is funding is saving the lives of real children. With your help, we truly believe we can find a cure in our lifetimes!

We urge you to donate.

Donate so that no other parent ever has to endure the heartache of losing a child.

Donate so that every little boy and girl can know their sibling through more than pictures and video (no matter how much they love to watch it...)

Donate for one of the 46 children that will be diagnosed today.

Beach 2009

Much to update, but first beach pics....(from a month ago!)

Smiley Riley





Our little builder and destroyer of sandcastles....



Jacob the fish in his inner tube



Our visit to the land of giants....



It's a bird, it's a plane...it's Dayna on a zip line!



Our fearless euro-bungy jumper. It's all in the preparations!


Flying high (terrible picture, I know)

And just some sweet sibling love!

Patriots and Prayers

***Please send prayers to the Morgan family as they are forced to adjust to life without beautiful Missy and precious Ryan (http://www.superryan.blogspot.com) While I love the picture of Missy and Ryan united together in heaven, my heart just aches for the family left behind...
********

A few pictures of our patriots!

Sweet Riley (yep, she's a chunk!)



Cool Jacob!


The Gang




And a Flashback to 2004, Hayley



We did the whole traditional "fireworks" thing this year - you know where you picnic for four hours ahead of time for the 15-minute fireworks show!? And Jacob absolutely loved it! I admit it was worth it - even if it did take us 30 minutes to get out of our parking space! The entire weekend, though, my mind kept drifting back to 2004 and the memories of the picture above. We were in such a celebratory mood - Hayley had finished all of her inpatient therapy, and we only had a few outpatient spinal taps left before we could call ourselves "done!" Her counts were even recovered enough that we took her to a BBQ at a friend's house - literally the first time she'd been around non-hospital kids since her diagnosis. She joined right in on all the fun as if she never missed a beat,and my heart was so full it literally could have burst. Unfortunately, it would be less than a week later that we would learn she had relapsed...the true beginning of the end.

It's always been our hope that we would remember to live in the moment and make the most of each day (even the mundane ones!). Too often even I forget that our tomorrows aren't guaranteed. Today I'm thankful that I'm remembering the lesson my daughter, and countless of her friends, taught me so well...

Look Who's 3!!!

So, our little man turned 3 last weekend...I still can't quite believe it. After Hayley died, I swore I'd never be one of those parents who complained about their kids growing up (after all, I only wished to have the privilege of watching her grow). And while I wouldn't say I'm sad, it's definitely bittersweet...he seems so grown up all of a sudden!

A few pics from his birthday bash at the park....



The construction cake! One of the added benefits of having a boy...you quickly learn the difference between an excavator, front-loader and more...



Makin' a wish!



And...someone's first trip to the pool...how cute is this?

Smiles!

How can you have a bad day when you wake up to this?



Or walk by a bouncy with this for a greeting? (Check out the double chin!)



Our girl is full of smiles these days, and we're loving it.



And one or two of Mr. Cool, of course!

Fun Around Town and a Slideshow

I know...I’ve been terrible. I promise to post pics more regularly...even if there’s no text to go with it!

At long last, click here to see Riley’s newborn slideshow (it will take a few minutes to load). There are some truly stunning shots, and needless to say, it was an ordeal to narrow it down! Feel free to weigh in on your favorites. We’d love to hear.

And, as you can see from this picture, though, she’s growing like a weed! She was up to 8 lbs 9 oz at her one-month appointment and will probably easily be 12 by her two-month. I guess that’s just the Thomson way...birth them small and fatten ‘em up quick! I am pretty darn sure I got two “real” smiles today, but I haven’t quite captured it on camera yet.



It has been a crazy, but fun month around here. It seems we have been go, go, go every weekend, and fortunately, Riley’s easy to take along right now. First up was Taste of Forsyth, where Jacob had a ball with jump castles, trains, riding ponies, face painting and more.

Who’s that little doggie?


Then came Touch a Truck, the consummate little boy event. There was literally every type of truck you can possibly imagine for Jacob to sit in and "steer," including a mini excavator (which might possibly be Jacob’s favorite thing on earth – at least after vacuums). As fun as it was, I can honestly say I'll die a happy woman if I never hear a horn honk again! Some of those trucks are loud! Here are a few of our favorite pics...

The excavator!


Who knew how big these motorcycles were...he could barely reach the handles!


GI Jacob!


And then this weekend was our favorite annual event - Lauren’s Run! The weather held out for us, and Hayley’s Heroes had a great turnout with nearly 50 walkers/runners. We even got to see two of Hayley’s favorite nurses from Eggleston which was an extra special treat! The event itself raised more than $120,000 for CURE Childhood Cancer so thanks so much to everyone who came out and/or contributed. It is always fun for us to celebrate this special day "for" Hayley. We didn’t quite get the whole family in the pictures, but we came close!





Last, but not least, a few special prayer requests for some special cancer friends. If you’ve followed Hayley’s story from the beginning, you’ll remember the Maxeys. We spent many a day at Scottish Rite roaming the halls together, and they lost their precious little girl Maddy a few months before we lost Hayley. Thankfully, they were blessed with a little boy, Grant, shortly after Jacob’s birth and then also had a baby girl, Annette, in October 2008. In December, sweet Annette was diagnosed with ATRT – an extremely aggressive brain tumor. They are pretty much living my worst nightmare, and all I can do is beg God for a different outcome this time. Please keep them in your prayers and check on them at http://www.maxeyweb.com/.

Our other friends are the Morgans. Now 10-year-old Ryan was at transplant briefly with Hayley in 2004 for Stage 4 neurbolastoma. In 2007 he relapsed and has been battling hard (as his mom has been simultaneously battling super-aggressive breast cancer). Just last week, this sweet family was told that Ryan is out of treatment options. They are currently pursuing an experimental therapy in Vermont, which may help ease his pain – or even better – clear him again. Please pray for their strength and endurance – and a miracle to boot.

It goes without saying that both of these families were in our thoughts while we walked this weekend, and we pray there will be a cure for every child very, very soon...

The rest of the month is sure to be crazy. Between Lauren’s Run, Jacob’s end-of-school festivities, me starting back to part-time freelancing, trying to exercise and lose the baby weight, keeping up with friends, Jacob’s b-day approaching, assembling birth announcements and enjoying life with two kiddoes underfoot...I'm exhausted!! But I wouldn’t trade it...and I promise to get better about posting pictures even if I don’t write a word!!

Thanks for checking in!

Happy Easter!

We haven’t fallen off the face of the earth...we're just in survival mode! After all, isn’t that what the first three months are really all about? :-) Actually, Riley and Jacob are doing great. As it turns out, the hard part has been taking care of myself! In the first two weeks of being home, I ended up with two 102-degree fevers and a second degree burn on my stomach! Go figure. Fortunately, that all seems to be at an end, and we're slowing getting into a routine of sorts.

Riley is growing like a weed, and we won’t be surprised if she’s up to 8+ lbs by her 1-month appointment. She is definitely getting the Thomson baby chubby cheeks! She's still pretty much up every three hours at night (the definite downside of preemies!), but fortunately, she goes back to sleep pretty quickly. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad are yawning their way through the days...

Jacob is still enamored with his little sister. He's not really into holding her, but boy does he run 100 miles per hour to put that paci in if she lets out the tiniest whimper. He's also a big fan of turning her monitor on and off, helping with diapers and wipes, and just generally knowing what she's up to. He did have one or two "sad" days at school before the break so he's definitely in Mommy mode right now. Hopefully, it will be short lived because it makes hormonal mommy's heart break to think of him being so upset, but I know there was bound to be some reaction. The more interesting side effect of Riley's homecoming is that every day for the first two weeks he asked us, "Where does Hayley live?" followed immediately by “Where does Riley live?” Literally, every day, at least once a day. Although he has known the answer about Hayley ("in heaven with Jesus") for ages, I think it was his little mind's way of trying to process why one sister lives here and one doesn't. Confusing stuff, if I do say so myself and definitely bittersweet!

Apparently, I've also been breaking out the camera a tad too much because, as of today, Jacob's decided he needs to carry a camera everywhere with him. He holds one of our old cameras right up to his face and says "cheese" at the top of his lungs. It's hilarious! Tonight he even told me after he took a picture, "That wasn't a very good smile, Mommy." Whoops. Unfortunately, I know exactly where he got that from! I honestly thought with as many pictures as I take that Jacob would be a better poser by now, but he's either looking down in every picture I take and/or staring at the ceiling (a result of me telling him to "look up"). And a picture of two kids together? Forget it! I'm convinced it's darn near impossible. Nevertheless, I posted our best attempts below!

As for Easter, I think we covered it all between church, egg hunts, dying eggs and a visit with the Easter bunny at brunch. It's amazing how much more real Easter is after our experience with Hayley….the recognition of God's incredible sacrifice of his only son, Christ's victory over death, the promise of eternal life and a much-anticipated reunion with Hayley...how we can’t wait for that!

Hope you had a wonderful day of celebration too, and thanks for checking in on us!

PS – Check out our Lauren’s Run site at www.firstgiving.org/hayleysheroes


Two on the playmat!


Hard at work!


Look at this one!


Our pretty girl


The Easter Bunny's not so bad!


Egg hunt...


Camera man!


Giving new meaning to the family picture!


Our Easter sweets!